


who do you love?

by sunsofmars (sun_fey)



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Angst, Bonding, F/F, Fluff, I thought i should mention: natsu is a chaotic pan, Juvia Lockser Loves Lucy Heartfilia, Juvia apologizes to Gray, Juvia is moving forward, M/M, Natsu Dragneel Loves Gray Fullbuster, Natsu and Juvia talk about who they love, Panesual Natsu, Pansexual Juvia, Post-Canon, because they both deserve better, both gray and lucy are oblivious as fuck about these two's feelings, change my mind, he's had a lot of mini crushes, most were friends, only a tiny bit tho, they encourage each other to confess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:27:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24586846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sun_fey/pseuds/sunsofmars
Summary: natsu and juvia talk.
Relationships: Lucy Heartfilia/Juvia Lockser, Natsu Dragneel & Juvia Lockser, Natsu Dragneel/Gray Fullbuster
Comments: 4
Kudos: 129





	who do you love?

**Author's Note:**

> i,,,,,, it's four am and I am awake and I wrote this on a fucking WHIM. help me
> 
> literally the idea burst into my brain and held me at gunpoint and I fuckin,,,,,,,,cant
> 
> bitch had to read ft 523 for some of this. bitch was in tears
> 
> i,,, posted this early on accident. I doubt anyone saw that, but if you did, please pretent that didn't happen. enjoy

Natsu was so in love with Gray, it was _painful_.

The ice mage was so oblivious to Natsu's feelings, and Natsu didn't blame him; Gray was stunted in the emotional department, just like he was (mostly). The most Gray had ever felt in terms of attraction to someone (as far as Natsu knew) was his kiddie crush on Erza when they were kids, his physical attraction to Lucy before he became friends with her, and his fling with Loke a long time ago. 

Natsu hadn't liked (or rather loved) anyone seriously since Lisanna when they were younger and raising Happy together. They were close back then, but then she disappeared, then came back, and for a while, things were awkward between them. But they talked it out, had a good cry together, and now Lisanna was like a sister to him. Any romantic feelings were gone. And, after Lisanna came out as a lesbian to him, they realized it was better that way. 

Natsu had had little crushes on other people. He'd had one on Loke (who didn't?) before he hooked up with Gray, a while back, then had one on Lucy for a little while after she joined the guild, and then he had one on Gajeel, though that was very, _very_ short lived (he was hot, okay?) and Gajeel ended up falling in love with Levy anyway. Then there were the ones on both Sting and Rogue.... at the same time (don't judge him) and then there was Minerva (for two seconds after she showed up in the Grand Magic Games), and there was Jellal (listen....) and Erik/Cobra (LISTEN.....) and a few others he was too embarrassed to think about. He was ninety percent sure that the crushes on Loke and those last three were actually _not_ crushes, but just physical attractions instead. He couldn't help himself, though; Natsu was a simple guy and people were _hot_. 

Anyway.

Gray, though... Gray was the first person he'd actually been in love with. _Ever_. He realized that, during the incident with Alvarez, right when Gray was about to sacrifice himself (yet again). He had tackled him, cried like a baby in front of him, shouted at him to fucking _live_ with his heart pounding like it was trying to jump out his chest and kill him. Natsu then went and kicked Zeref's ass, almost dying in the process, and then the war ended, and Natsu was still in love.

It was real, genuine love, not just a little crush or attraction, and Natsu both loved and hated it.

He wanted to tell the ice mage, pull him aside and just say it, but he didn't think that would go over well, not only with Gray but for a lot of people. Everyone still thought they were just rivals and friends, including Gray, and especially Juvia, who would blow a gasket of she knew.

Speaking of.

Natsu stood at the entrance of the guild hall, where he'd just walked through the door, and was knocked out of his stupor by the sight of Juvia talking to Gray. He was immediately on edge, gritting his teeth, until he looked closer, and realized that she wasn't clinging to him, but standing at a respectable distance from him, and instead of aiming heart eyes at the ice mage, she was looking at him with.... sorrow? Regret? Natsu couldn't tell from where he was standing. He strained his ears to hear what she was saying. 

".... wanted to thank Gray-san for hearing her out. Juvia hopes that we can be great friends!" Juvia was telling him, hands folded in front of her, and Natsu could smell salt — Juvia had cried at some point, he deducted. 

"I hope we can, too. I'm glad you're moving on, Juvia." Then, Gray held out his hand, and Juvia took it, and to Natsu's astonishment, she wasn't mooning over it like she usually did. She looked happy now, but not like how she used to be. She looked — normal. A normal kind of happy. A _friendly_ kind of happy. 

The two of them shared a smile, then let go of each other, and Juvia sniffed, wiping at her eyes before she walked away, head held high, walking towards him, towards the door. As she walked past, Natsu could see she had started crying again, eyes watering. Natsu heard her mutter a "Natsu-san" in his direction before she was gone, out the doors, past the front section and out the gate, walking towards Fairy Hills. Natsu stared after her, then turned back to Gray, bewildered.

No one was going after her; he saw Lucy start to, but then she listened to Gray talk, and she relaxed, sitting back down. Erza was about to bust Gray's skull open, it looked like, but he said something to her, too, and she relaxed as well, nodding her head in understanding. Gajeel was.... not even here, Natsu noted with a frown. Why was no one going after Juvia? Yes, she was a bit.... emotional, but she was always like that, and she deserved comfort too.

Natsu was going to teach Gray a lesson when he got back — just because he loved him didn't mean he wouldn't kick his ass — but right then, he decided to check on Juvia. He left the guild hall in search of her, not noticing a pair of blue-gray eyes on his back the whole time. 

He found her on one of the grassy hills in back of the hall, sitting with her knees to her chest, wiping at her eyes. He approached her, sitting down next to her, making her jump a little. 

"You okay?" He asked her, leaning back on his hands, head turning to face her. Juvia sniffled.

"Yes. Juvia is okay, Natsu-san," she replied. Natsu frowned. 

"Sure doesn't look like it to me." He shrugged. "You're sitting here, alone, crying. I saw you with Gray. He say something mean? I'll kick his ass." He punched his fist.

The water mage laughed, shaking her head. "No, no! Really, Juvia is okay, Natsu-san! Gray-san did not say anything mean to Juvia!" She picked at a long blade of grass. "When Juvia cried.... those were happy tears, not sad ones. That's why there is no rain." She turned her head to the sky, and so did Natsu, who hadn't realized until just then that the blue haired woman was right; there was not one drop of rain or a hint of a dark cloud. He looked back at her, raising an eyebrow. 

"Why were you crying happy tears, then?" At this point, he was just nosy.

Juvia didn't say anything for a few seconds, then sighed. "Because Juvia finally let him go."

"Let who go? Gray?" Natsu blinked.

"Yes. Juvia let go of her feelings for him; they were not healthy, and Juvia had realized that a long time ago, but did not know how to approach the subject then." Her fingers folded together as she fidgeted. "Juvia has let Gray-san go, and now we are both free." Her eyes watered again. "Juvia wants to be proper friends with Gray-san instead of loving him. Loving him.... loving him hurt me too much. Hurt us both too much. Juvia did not want to be in pain, and she did not want Gray-san to be in pain either, so I let him go. It's better this way." 

"..." Natsu was stunned. He didn't know what to say. Juvia had gone and let herself be free of her toxic relationship with Gray, and she was crying happy tears about it. He found that amazing that she had the strength to do that. 

"That's.... wow, Juvia. That's amazing," he murmured, patting her on the shoulder. "I'm glad you were able to do that. You both deserve better."

Juvia smiled, her eyes red. "Thank you, Natsu-san."

They sat in silence for a little while, Natsu thinking about Gray and how he could Express his feelings the way Juvia did, until the water mage broke it.

"Um, Natsu-san? Juvia has a question..."

"Yeah? What's up?" Natsu turned back to her. 

"Um.... well....." Juvia's cheeks began turning pink, and she twiddled her thumbs. "Lucy-chan's birthday is coming up.... and Juvia was wondering, since you're her best friend, what kind of gift would she like?" She looked at him, eyes wide and pleading. 

".... Why?" He asked her, eyebrow raising again and watched as she grew redder.

".... Well.... Juvia also told Gray-san that she liked other people.... and fell in love with someone else.... as in.... Juvia is pansexual, and she's in love with Lucy-chan." Now red as a lobster, Juvia slapped her palms against her cheeks to cover her embarrassment. 

.... _Holy shit_. 

He owed Cana money.

"I owe Cana money." He muttered out loud.

Juvia looked at him with a questioning expression, but he paid it no mind.

Not only that, but.

Lucy's love was requited!

Lucy had told him a while back that she was bi and was in love with Juvia, and he teased her about it, but was overall supportive and happy for her. He also felt a little bad; the girl she loved was in love someone else. That had to be fucking tough.

But, that wasn't the case anymore. Juvia loved Lucy too. 

He abruptly turned to her, eyes shining. "You should tell her," he said. Then he thought about her question. "Take her out shopping, then to dinner. Give her flowers and stuff. She likes stuff like that. You should totally confess to her." He paused. "Or, buy her another journal, if you're not ready for that. She likes that stuff too." 

Juvia's blue hues were huge, and she gazed at Natsu in awe, like he'd just told her what the secret to life was. She clapped her hands together.

"Natsu-san, that's a wonderful idea!" She squealed, hugging him fiercely. He returned the hug, startled. "Juvia will do that!" She swooned as she thought of all the places she could take Lucy. She stopped, suddenly, and turned back to Natsu, glaring. He shrunk back, confused.

"Natsu-san, what about you?" Juvia said.

"What about me?" he tilted his head at her. 

"When will you confess your love to Gray-san?" 

Natsu swore his heart stopped.

"What?" 

Juvia pouted, cheeks puffed out. "If Juvia has to confess, you have to, too!"

"I — I don't know what you're talking about. " Natsu stuttered. How in the hell — shit, not even _Lucy_ knew about him being in love with Gray. How did _Juvia_ find out?!

"It is very obvious, Natsu-san, that you care a lot about him. Juvia herself loved him at one point; of course she would know when someone else would, too." Juvia's eyes softened, and she took his hand in her own. Natsu's heart was beating really fast. "You should tell him. Juvia loved him, and it was no good; you love him, and Juvia knows that you can treat him better, that you could love him better."

"He doesn't feel the same." Natsu mumbled, staring at the grass between them forlornly. 

"How do you know?"

"I just do — I know he doesn't want me."

"Are you just going to _give up_ , Natsu-san?" Juvia sounded angry, and he jumped as she stood up, hands on her hips. "Listen to me, Natsu-san! Juvia thinks you should tell him too! After all you've been through together, you both deserve happiness! Even if he doesn't love you the same way, you can still be friends! But Juvia has faith! He'll love you back!" She huffed. "Juvia knows that you can do better than this, Natsu-san. You've never, ever given up without a fight. Why start now?" 

Natsu stayed silent, pondering over Juvia's words. He knew she was right, but... he was just so scared of what would happen if Gray didn't reciprocate his feelings. He would probably laugh at him, or brush it off coldly. Natsu would be broken....

But. He didn't know that. He actually knew that Gray was kinder than what he was picturing. He probably would reject him, and things would go back to normal. They'd still be friends. Nothing had to change, in theory. 

Or.

Gray could, _theoretically_ , return his feelings.

The idea of that was so appealing. 

He stood up, facing the water mage, eyes filled with determination, and she grinned, mirroring his expression. 

"Okay. I'll do it. Even if he rejects me, I'll feel better, and we could still be friends." 

"But he won't reject you. Juvia knows this in her heart." She thumped her fist against her chest, then linked their arms together. "Now, let's go get Gray-san and Lucy-chan!" 

Natsu grinned, new energy flooding his veins. "Yeah!"

On the way back to the guild, they ideas black and forth on how to confess; Juvia already had a plan presented to her that needed a bit of tweaking, and Natsu had a whole clean slate to fill. 

Natsu started to believe maybe, just maybe, this could work out after all.

When both Juvia and Natsu walked back into the guild, arm in arm, Gray stiffened, and then poked Lucy in the side, hard.

"Ow!" The blonde exclaimed, whipping around and glaring at him. "What was that for?" 

"Look." Was all he said, and he nodded his head in the direction of the fire dragonslayer and the water mage. Lucy's brown eyes widened, then narrowed. She leaned in closer to Gray, voice hushed.

"What do you think they're talking about?" 

"Dunno. They looked all buddy-buddy coming in, though." 

"You don't think they're...." 

"No way. But even if they were..." Gray turned her her, eyes bright with intensity. "We'd have to pull them apart. We can't risk them falling for each other." 

"No, we cannot. Even if they're not like that, we should still come up with a plan." Lucy whipped out her notebook, opened to a fresh page, and started jotting stuff down. "I'm writing a list of Natsu's interests and favorite foods." She glanced at him. "I hope you can cook to his standards." 

"You know damn well I can, blondie." Gray smirked as she kicked at him. "Give me one of those. I'll wrote down stuff Juvia likes too. Gods know she's told me a billion times." He grinned at her. "I hope you can sew, because she likes plush dolls." 

"Ugh. I can't, but I'll be damned if I don't try." Lucy ripped out a page and handed it to him, along with a pen. They wrote down their lists, then swapped them.

"Hey. We should make a bet," Gray spoke up after a few minutes.

"That is a terrible idea." Lucy rolled her eyes. "You know how bets go in this guild." 

"Oh, are you afraid I'll ask Natsu out before you ask Juvia?" Gray teased, snickering at the glint in the blonde's eye.

"Oh, hell no. I'll definitely ask before you." 

"Ten thousand Jewels, and the loser has to buy a victory dinner." 

"You've got yourself a bet, Fullbuster."

**Author's Note:**

> listen. I like juvia, okay? I liked her magic, and her (first) design, and I liked her passion. I am sorely disappointed at the way she was treated. she did not deserve to be done like that. she had so much more potential than just a creepy stalker bitch. her character development was a missed opportunity. both she and Gray deserve the WORLD and I will not stand for less
> 
> anyway. they're gay your honor
> 
> hope you liked it. peace ✌🏾
> 
> ([tumblr](https://sunsofmars.tumblr.com/))
> 
> edit: sorry, at the part where Gray and Lucy were making that bet, it says 'winner' when it's supposed to say 'loser'. I've changed it. sorry again!!


End file.
